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Saturday, January 29, 2011

Black Ops...It has arrived with a monkey killing vengance.

This message is direct from Dagobah. I'm writing this to celebrate the arrival of one of the most touted game releases of our generation. I probably don't even need to tell you what it is. The 'Call of Duty' franchise has dethroned 'Halo' and defends its crown with honor. 'Call of Duty: Black Ops' charged into the world with a release that could not be equaled. And for good reason. It is awesome. Who amongst us hasn't wanted to charge off the grid into enemy territory and kill commies from times past? I have. That is a sharp truth. Now, I have gotten the opportunity to do it. And it is sweet. Being put in the world of the history that never got written, toting glorious guns and shooting an uncountable number of enemies is exactly what I had hoped it would be. Vehicle play is nice to have back. There is nothing wrong with flying an attack chopper and blowing up everything in site. Or how about the Rolling Stones loaded boat scene? I will not lie. It made me want to fap. And I may have done just that. The online play is slick and pretty. It does not let its fans down. The details in this game are wonderful. In a level late in the campaign, I came on a room filled with caged monkeys. What was I to do? I needed to know if I could lay vengeance on these tiny primates, so I fired. The monkey fell back, deader than James when he tries to beat us at anything. I never thought I would be the type to gun down an innocent monkey, but when put in that situation, it turns out I was. Trent, the monkey killer is who I became. I guess this is just another testament to how war can change us all. This message has been sent Direct from Dagobah.

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